The Power of Words

"Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it." Ephesians 4:29

I've been thinking about the power of words lately. Of course, married to a pastor, I'm sure you can't imagine that. :) Sean has a great responsibility with words, and one he takes quite seriously. Sure, there's still times he opens mouth, inserts foot. He's human, and he's really open about correcting his mispoken words if someone hasn't already corrected him. But he never intentionally plans a conversation, and certainly not a sermon without much prayer and understanding that he is accountable to God for his words in a great way. He's never out to devour, but to promote healing. Unfortunately, the same rarely happens to him. As a wife, it's hard to hear your husband beaten down continuously. The positives don't come near as often as the negatives, and maybe that's a good thing. After all, he's not speaking for the praise of man, but an audience of One, so it does keep him in check with the Lord when the negatives fly. He can double check with God, and God does His job to either convict or affirm. Still, I personally struggle with the words others have towards my husband, the man I love and respect so much. If you aren't married to a pastor, I'd like for you to imagine that your husband's 24/7 job included 200 or so (insert the number in your congregation) "bosses" (or at least those who thought he was his boss), surrounding you every week with their thoughts, ideas, input, and "advice" on how he should do his job, and every time he didn't live up to their expectation or he made a mistake, they thought it was best for him (or you) to hear that as they await for him to please do what they've told him to do. Add to that the expectations they place on your wife and children, and every thing THEY don't do "in line" is checked just as hard. Yes, it's quite a unique occupation, ministry is. I have to admit, that my response to these constant words is not always good either. This is where I begin to squirm now.

You see, I am accountable for MY words just the same. Even in the ugliest motives of others, if my response is ugly even if it's in my thoughts, I'm no different than they are. Ouch. What a lesson. I've had the above verse as a signature reminder to me on email, and I love this version in the Amplified Bible. It digs down to the root of what this scripture is saying. Words can either tear down or build up. I'm not talking puff up as in produce a "big head" and I'm not talking about flattery or lying just to say something nice. I'm talking about encouraging one another in the Lord. We hold power in our tongues, and sometimes, what our mamas told us was really wise. "If you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all." (Kentucky slang included there) Not everything we think is necessary to speak. Absolutely, if something is unbiblical, then go to your pastor, teacher, or leader and share your concerns in love. If it's something you just don't like, why is it necessary for you to say it to make yourself feel better, make demands, and tear down your leaders or servants in the church? I don't understand that.

Sometimes, I ask the Lord why He would ever waste His time on stupid me. I mean really. I don't feel one bit qualified to do the things He's called me to do. I don't feel worthy, and I don't feel good enough. Matter of fact, I'm not. He is the One Who called and qualified and brings about anything good in me. If I thought I had 200 people breathing insults every time I didn't do what they wanted or I made a mistake, I'd quit for sure. Some days I just wish that was an option. That's not the godly response, but I'm just being honest. My heart's been so discouraged lately, and it's just where I am. I don't see what benefit it could possibly be to be so critical. I truly try to see the good and build people up on the good I see in their life. It's called encouragement. Oh, how we need that more in a world that is filled with so much discouragement!

"We use our tongues to praise our Lord and Father, but then we curse people, whom God made like himself. Praises and curses come from the same mouth! My brothers and sisters, this should not happen." James 3:9-10 (NCV)

"Words kill, words give life;
they're either poison or fruit—you choose." Prov. 18:21 (MSG)

Father, encourage my heart today, as well as the hearts of those who have been hurt by words. Forgive me for the times my words have devoured and broken Your heart. Let me give life with my words, knowing that You have called me to build UP, and not tear down. Give me love in my heart for all people, grace for the unkind, and understanding that destructive words not only tear apart the one I speak to/of, but hurt myself as part of Your church, and ultimately You. I love you, Lord, and want to be a vessel that draws others closer to You. Let today be a fresh start with grace and love in my heart and let it follow to my tongue. Amen.

You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more—Psalm 10: 17 & 18