This year, God directed me to focus more on the cross and what it means to ME in a personal way during "Holy Week." In this, He has really given me a fresh insight. One that has been hard to see. One that has been hard to bear. I've read through the accounts of His trial, beatings, and crucifixion and felt the weight. Nothing like what He bore, but it's been personal. MY accusations, MY neglect, MY pride, MY pharisaical self, MY shame......that is what He carried. "While Beth was still a sinner, Christ died for her." I am in a new Bible study with some friends, and we are studying the "fruit of the Spirit." The past week has been about love. I know this is no coincidence. The cross is the perfect act of the greatest love I've ever known. I was made aware of how perfectly 1 Corinthians 13 reflects the cross. Every single character described there was represented through Jesus going to the cross. Agape love always had the other person's best interest at heart rather than self. God's love truly does cover a multitude of sins. MY sins.
This study combined with the cross brought a fresh awareness of the sacrifice that Jesus went through to show His love to me. Me, who doesn't deserve it at ALL. Yesterday, everywhere I was reading, the word "all" continuously came up in scriptures, devotions, and just in my thoughts. It was definitely a word God wanted me to remember.
Through focusing on the cross, I am mindful from ALL that I have been saved from. All the ugliness that is Beth McKenzie, whether before becoming a Christian or after. His love has saved me from my self. What I could be without Him scares me. The times when my flesh rears its ugly head is a testament to this. Only through the power of the Holy Spirit in me am I continuously saved from the wretch that I am without Him. The cross reminds me of what He's done, but also what He does to keep me and protect me from my past and enables me to live in my present. One of the qualities of His love is protection. He covers us. Beth Moore says, "Love does not expose the faults of others. God's love is a picture of covering an individual with such a cloak of love that the faults cannot be seen." Isn't that beautiful? His love truly covers a multitude of sins. A multitude of ALL MY sins.
The next verse God brought to my mind was, "And in Him you have been made complete."
Because of the cross and my trust in Jesus as my Savior, I am now completely capable through the Holy Spirit to love like Jesus. And let me just say, I haven't. I have not truly loved others in this way, starting with my family and on down to friends, neighbors, etc. My love has been selfish. Focused more on me than on expressing Him towards others. This is where Holy Week got heavy for me. This is where the cross became a fresh pain, a fresh heaviness, and at the same time, a fresh freedom. Because Jesus took this on, I am forgiven and free now to express this agape love. But not before I felt the weight of my sin. And let me just say, I FELT IT. Whoa. Lord, never let my heart grow so cold that I forget this pain you bore for me and this sweet salvation that is Yours. How could I not in return give You my ALL and love in the complete love You have shown to me and given to me?
The result I feel today is first of all, gratitude. Complete thanks. A thanks you cannot repay, but you can accept and express through agape love. The cross was a beautiful route of love that ended with victory, yet the journey was painful. A pain we would never have to experience fully because it was taken for us. After the weight of this week, I am so thankful. If we wince at the thought or the man made depiction of this sacrifice, can you even imagine the thought of being there to see it in person? Even more, living it? To think of Jesus going to these efforts so that you could know the Father in an eternal relationship, and He did it for YOU? Wow! Scripture says that He refused any pain relief medications. Why do you think He did that? Why would He want to demonstrate such self control? Have you ever thought about the idea that He might have wanted to feel ALL the pain, ALL YOUR pain right to the end?
"What we do see is Jesus, made “not quite as high as angels,” and then, through the experience of death, crowned so much higher than any angel, with a glory “bright with Eden’s dawn light.” In that death, by God’s grace, he fully experienced death in every person’s place." Heb. 2:9-10 (MSG)
The second result is joy. How great is His salvation to me! How could I not truly experience a fresh joy in this empty tomb now?
"You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, because they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned to death.”The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.” But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel." Heb. 12:18-24 (NLT)
The journey to the cross is painful, but beautiful. Oh, that I will now live forever grateful, with great joy in this agape love that has been shown through the sacrifice of my Jesus! I am redeemed!
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