Pressing On

Pressing On


I just want to warn you. I’m getting ready to talk about a four letter word. This blog is definitely not for the faint of heart or any spiritual babies. So, are you ready?……. The word is …..(whispering)….. “diet.” (I warned you!)

So, I’ve been on a roller coaster journey the past 11 ½ years since the delivery of my third born child. I had major problems in pregnancy that required bedrest and hospitalization, and by the time I delivered back in 1997, I found myself heavier than I had ever been in my life. NOT fun! For a few years, I did nothing about it. Just didn’t have the motivation. I was enjoying my life as a stay at home mom and keeping busy with friends and ministries in our local church. Besides, the busyness kept me from thinking too much about it. Deep inside, I knew I had to start at some point, but being the procrastinator I am, I kept putting it off for “another time.” About three years ago, out of the desire I had to relieve some stress in my life, it finally clicked in my mind what my heart was already feeling. NOW is the time! I began with Weight Watchers and started walking with a friend each day. I ended up losing 40 lbs that entire year. Pretty good, but I still had more to lose. (I told you I was really big!) In the spring of 2007, we went through a move in ministry and once again, I discovered a busy life of new places and faces. Fortunately, I was not one who “gained all their weight back” (thank You, Jesus!) However, I fluctuated between 5-10 lbs back and forth, never really doing anything. In the winter of 2008, I decided to get back on board, and this time it was going to be a focus on exercise. I began training to run a 5K race. I did not focus on any specific diet, but my main focus was getting into shape to run. For four months straight, I trained and finally ran my race at the end of April. The most frustrating part for me was that I was training religiously….I mean really dedicated to running, something I had NEVER done before. Yet, I only lost a total of 5 lbs.! How could that be?! Ugh! Talk about stinkin’ frustrated! Hmph. I continued running pretty faithfully until June of 2008, then, all the fun of summer began. Once again, my ADD brain got distracted. Add to that I began having some physical complications with allergies and other female problems, so the running turned to walking, and even then only about 2-3 days a week. I continued walking on the treadmill the rest of the year. Once again…I hadn’t really gained much back, but hadn’t lost much either. Another 5-10 lb. fluctuation back and forth. At the end of winter 2009, I found myself just feeling really bad and blah. Having had my one and only ovary finally removed, I was put into instant menopause, which only slows a woman’s metabolism down even more. I knew I HAD to be proactive with my health now. It could not be an option! I decided I was not comfortable with hormone replacement therapy. After all, there are some very serious side effects from those like stroke, blood clots, heart attacks, and death. The side effects from not taking them are simply uncomfortable symptoms like hot flashes and mood swings. (Maybe life threatening for others, but not me!) :) So, I began a regimen of vitamins, calcium, and herbal supplement teas. I also kicked my “rear in gear” to get onto some type of diet program that will work for me. Weight Watchers was great, but I’d get to a plateau and not be able to go further. I wanted something that would really kick my metabolism into gear and also be healthy and realistic. I’m not a drink two shakes a day kind of gal because reality tells me when I start eating normal foods again, the weight comes back and I’ve not really done anything healthy for my body by doing that. I discovered that the South Beach Diet was the plan for me. It’s a diet that teaches you to heat healthy lean meats and vegetables, detoxing your body from sugar and bad carbs, and teaches you to combine healthy carbs and proteins. It’s a diet many diabetics are advised to follow. So, Sean and I both decided to jump in together. The first week of April was very difficult as we “de-toxed” our bodies from sugar and other bad carbs like pasta, potatoes, and white bread. But after two weeks, I was feeling better in many ways. Some days it’s been hard because it can get old and boring, but I’ve found many sites to help freshen up the menu. I’ve even tried cheating, and found my body got sick from eating some of the sweets I used to enjoy! Cool! Not that I can’t have a little something sweet from time to time. All things in moderation, right? Just that my body has adapted to healthier, and I like that. I even “cheated” and had some sushi a couple weeks ago on a night out with hubby, and ended up losing 2 lbs. I REALLY like that! :) It isn’t something I could do all the time, but it sure was fun to “splurge” once on something I enjoyed and not have to suffer for it. Grace! I did find myself at a plateau with this for a few weeks. Sticking to the diet, yet not losing any weight. It was then that I discovered something else. I’ve often tried to diet without exercise. Other times, I’ve tried to exercise without diet. I’m one of the “lucky” ones who has to do both. And let me tell you….that stinks! It really does! There are people out there who eat everything they want to eat and never exercise, but for whatever reason, their bodies remain a size 2, 4, or 6. I am fighting for 12’s right now. Ugh! But that’s my reality, so there’s no use sulking in it. It’s the hand I am dealt, and my responsibility is to respond. So, what is my purpose in baring my soul here? What do I intend by sharing this very personal story?
It’s this: I have a choice. Healthy or not. Blessing or curses. God gives me the grace to pick which one I want to do and what consequences I want to reap. I can choose to keep my eyes on myself or my weight (although I KNOW I am not my weight!), OR I can choose to focus on the goal in sight and go towards the finish line.
I can’t help but relate it to my spiritual life. I can choose to keep my eyes on myself or others. When I do that, I will remain stagnant….dry…..stale…..rollercoaster of emotions……back and forth…..up and down. Paul describes this as, “infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men ….”
Or I can choose to keep my eyes on Jesus. “Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!” Heb. 12:1-2

Let me make myself very clear. I still think it stinks that I can’t eat whatever I want whenever I want. But I can’t help but think that God’s going to teach me more through this denial of self than what I would have otherwise learned. It’s MY lesson to learn for an eternal purpose. While I don’t like that it’s my “cross to bear,” I can’t complain either. I’m not alone. God promises to give me everything I need to grow up in Him. Everything! The strength, the endurance, the power, the ability, the perspective, the perseverance, and the GRACE! I often looked at this as confinement, but I am finding now that it is actually my road to FREEDOM. A freedom He’s been showing me I already have and could have been living in on this side of heaven! So far, I feel like a new person. I know my insides are healthier and eventually it will be evident on the outside. I’m 13 lbs. down, eating healthy, and exercising 5 days a week! 27 lbs still to go, but I have a glimpse of the finish line!

“I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.”Phil. 3:12

Whatever your cross, PRESS ON, sweet sisters! He goes before and behind us every time! The reward is already ours- His sweet Presence, and we can do all things through Him Who strengthens us! :)