DAY 14-

I've thought and thought about what to post for Day 14. This was yesterday. I wanted to post last night as I was catching up on Day 13's thoughts, but for the life of me, I just didn't have anything to say about Day 14. For reasons beyond what I can even comprehend, a young man chose to enter an elementary school yesterday morning in Connecticut and shoot and kill 26 people, 20 of them being children.

What in the world? Why? How does someone do this? WHO does this?

Nothing about this day makes me think of Christmas. Nothing. I can't get beyond the fact that 20 moms and dads sent their child to school and by 9:20 those children were gone. Twenty parents would not have a little one waking up on Christmas morning. Six adults had husbands, wives, and children who perhaps just that morning had kissed them goodbye. Now there is nothing left but confusion and deep grief. I can't even begin to know how they will process this.

As we were unpacking the house, I took lots of breaks yesterday. "The ole gray mare just ain't what she used to be" with my bad back and sheer exhaustion setting in after a nonstop week. I didn't learn about this tragedy until later in the afternoon, and once I did, I prayed often. During those breaks, I talked quite a bit to God in my mind. It's so easy to say we would trust God and praise Him in the storm, until the storm slams US right in the face.

I've never had to face that kind of storm.

So, I thought of how in my nothingness," God brought me some insight. As I cried for these losses, I just had the picture of Stephen in my mind. In Acts 7, Stephen is being stoned for his faith. It says as he is nearing the end, that his face shone like an angel. He looked up and saw Jesus standing at the right hand of the Father. I remembered that I had read some commentators speak about how we always see Jesus "sitting" at the right side of the Father, but in the story of Stephen, He is standing. It's like He almost can't stand the idea of Stephen suffering, so he gets up to get him and welcome him home. Now, this may not be the case and we don't know since it's not in Scripture, but wouldn't that just be like our merciful Jesus? He never sits by when we are suffering? He never misses it. He never overlooks our tears. I thought of each one of those precious children safely in His arms, and somehow it just brought comfort.

 There's really no sense in trying to figure it out or make it about holiness, politics, schools, or guns. It's just flat out evil. I know that the only reason Jesus doesn't come is that God is patient, wanting none to perish, but I believe Jesus wanted to come and spare these families and the rest of the world of this grief though. I can only imagine the restraint that Jesus must have exercised to not come again.  I believe that with all of my heart. So, as you and I continue to wrestle through this mystery and heinous sort of crime here in our world, I pray that God would continue to fill our "nothingness" with more of His all sufficiency.  Oh, how we need Him.